Thing are still going well . . .

I'm knocking on wood as I say that.  The little bit of fatigue I had at the beginning seems to be waning.  I'll usually get tired in the afternoon and have a nap.  Other than that, it has been pretty easy.  The one thing that is bothersome has nothing to do with the treatment.  My right lung cavity is filling up with fluid again. I get short of breath pretty easily.  That was my first clue the last time. (I'm learning!)  I have an appointment to go in and get it tapped this afternoon.  Next Thursday I have an appointment to have a catheter put in so I can do the drains myself.  Hopefully, it won't be in for long.  When they put it in on my left side a while back, I only needed it for about 2 months because the fluid dissipated on it's own.  Maybe my right side will follow suit.

Easter was lovely.  After church, we all went to my mother's house for dinner. My brother, Don, was in town.  It was nice spending time with him.  I hope you all had a lovely Easter as well.

It's a beautiful sunny day today.  I love it when it's sunny.  It's a good day for a walk.  However, I best wait until after the tap this afternoon.  It would be unsettling for the neighbors if I were to pass out on the sidewalk.

Enjoy your day!

So far so good . . .

I've been on the Votrient since Wednesday.  So far, no noticeable side effects.  Yay!  However, we did make an unexpected visit to Roswell yesterday.  Shortness of breath was really becoming an issue. At first, I assumed it was just the progression of the disease.  But, yesterday it occurred to me that it could be fluid building up again in my right lung cavity.  Turned out I was right. So, we ended up at Roswell for a "tap" to get the fluid out of there.  I'm breathing much better now.

That's the third time I mistakenly thought worsening of symptoms was due to the cancer.  (Note to self - Stop assuming you've got this thing all figured out!)

It's a beautiful sunny day today, fitting for Easter weekend.  This Easter may we all be reminded of the hope found in the Atonement and Resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Happy Easter, everyone!

We have insurance approval!

My insurance has approved the Votrient (Pazopanib).  It will be delivered to the house today.  It's a pill I can take at home, so no visits to the hospital!  Side effects include fatigue, maybe a little nausea and/or diarrhea.  TMI?  Probably.  Sorry.  Also, it could make my blood pressure go up - which for me wouldn't be such a bad thing because my blood pressure tends to run on the low side.  They also have to watch my liver function as it could effect that.

I can do this.  Prayers all around!

Thanks everyone!  I'll give you an update and let you know how it's going in a few days.

Still hanging in there . . .

Had my appointment with Dr. K yesterday.  There is a drug, new for sarcoma, that has been used in treating late-stage kidney cancer.  He suggested I give it a try.  It hasn’t been approved by the FDA for sarcoma yet, but if my insurance company approves it anyway, I can start in the next couple of days.  It’s called Pazopanib, brand name – Votrient.  (I’d love to know who comes up with these names!)  Anyway, it’s supposed to cut off the blood supply to the tumors.  Dr. K is also looking into clinical trials at Sloan Kettering in NYC and MD Anderson in Houston for me.  He’ll have that information by the end of the week. 

I’m not going to lie – I got the distinct impression that Dr. K doesn’t hold out much hope that anything is going to work due to the progression of the cancer.  He may be right, but I’m not ready to give up the fight just yet.  I appreciate his willingness to be supportive of my desire to keep fighting.  He could easily wash his hands of me. 

My hope is that we’ll at least find something that buys me a little more time.  I still have things I need to do! 

A friend from work shared this poem with me.  I loved it.  Thanks, Debbie!

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out,
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Until next time . . .

Thanks for your prayers.

Thank you for your posts.  And many thanks to Barb for keeping you all updated.

I am home.  I'm sorry for not updating sooner.  I must admit, I've been enjoying resting, relaxing, and soaking in our beautiful weather.  I promised myself (and my husband) that when I got out of the hospital I would just take it easy and give my body a chance to get strong and heal. No housework, no trips to the store.  It hasn't been all that difficult. I think I'm a bit worn out.

It's been a rough few weeks culminating in my week-long stay at the hospital.  That is with one shining exception.  The Benefit given for our family was absolutely incredible.  The love and support we felt that night was completely overwhelming.  Heartfelt thanks to all who were involved in bringing it together, and to those who graciously donated baskets and services.  The money that was raised will help to lift the financial burden that cancer inevitably brings.  One less thing to worry about.  Thank you so much.

So, they determined that I had a virus which resulted in fever, chills and major fatigue with a side of shortness of breath.. I'm sure the fatigue was exacerbated by the chemo as well.  As Barb said, while I was there, I developed some intestinal issues.  They did an xray and a CT scan and determined that I didn't have a bowel obstruction, but instead something called an illius.  An illius is a small section of bowel that decides to take a break and stop working essentially slowing everything down.  Of course, when I heard they were doing a CT scan, I knew they'd be looking at other things as well.  Sure enough, Dr. K. came into my room after looking at the scan and said things were a bit worse.  The tumor in my pelvic lining had gotten bigger and was actually butting up against my bowel probably causing the illius.  He said the tumors in my lungs hadn't changed too much.  Guess that's good.  Always have to find something positive in these reports, but it's getting harder and harder as time goes on.  He said we'd have stop the Adriamycin.  He didn't have much more to offer at that point.  The next day, he came in and said he wanted to set up an appointment to discuss our next step, most likely a clinical trial at another hospital.  I was told that because I bounced back so well from the virus and was still relatively strong, they're not ready to give up on me yet. We'll meet with him this coming Tuesday.  My options are running low.  Plan "Z" seems to be coming up a bit more quickly than I thought it would. I know that I have more that I'm meant to accomplish before leaving this world. Pray that we'll be led to an effective treatment very soon.

I was sent home with oxygen as my levels were borderline low in the hospital.  I wear it most of the day and at night.  Even with it off, the only time I tend to get short of breath is when I go up the stairs.  So, I'm finding that it's no big deal if I don't wear it all of the time.  Of course, it's just one more thing that makes me feel like I'm one step closer to my grave.  However, the respiratory therapist assures me that many times it's just temporary until they find the right treatment.  There's that darn hope again!  Guess I'd better hold on to it.  After all, it's better than the alternative.  Feeling hopeless isn't in my nature, thank goodness.  Actually, I have the Lord to thank for that.  I know that He has been with me and will continue to be with me every step of the way regardless of the outcome.  It's because of Him my hope shines bright.

Until next time . . .

She's home and doing much better

Chris will post soon. She feels good.  She came home on Saturday. 

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!
~Dr. Seuss

She's not feeling so great.....

Hello Friends and Family,

Some family out West emailed me today asking for me to put an update on Chris' blog since they've heard she's in the hospital right now.  I checked with Chris, and she has asked me to go ahead and do so.  

First, I have been asked to pass along how grateful both Chris and Ken are for the overwhelming support, hard work, and generosity regarding the special benefit in her honor last week. I know I can't express how grateful I am personally for the outpouring of love and kindness shown to my Sister and her family.  I'm rather speechless about it, but I'm not surprised just how many people love the Van Ry family and would do this to help them.  Thank you from myself, who couldn't be there.  Thank you from the Van Ry kids, thank you from my Mom, Maurine, and thank you from Chris and Ken.  I'm sure when Chris feels better, she will add her thoughts.  

It's been a hard several weeks for our entire family.  Bill Shomers, who somehow became part of our family 24 years ago, passed away last week.  In fact, he passed away just days before the benefit on Wed. Those of us who were able to, scrambled to get to NY to be there for the funeral which was just this past Sat.  I was lucky enough to be able to be there for a few quick days.  This was all just too much for Chris.  While I was there, I was incredibly worried about her.  She was exhausted, almost always down on the couch, she's had a cough that's really been winding her, and she was frustrated that she couldn't keep up with everything.  This past Sunday, just hours after I left to return home, she ended up in the ER at Millard Fillmore Suburban with a 103 fever.  She was there for hours.  Her Dr at Roswell, Dr K, told her to go there.  Something about Roswell didn't have room at the moment for her.  At Suburban, she had chest x-rays and another CT scan.  The results showed fluid in her chest cavity and possibly her left lung.  (Hopefully I got that right.) She was transferred via ambulance to Roswell around Midnight.  They are testing for Pneumonia, Flu, and other infections.  She is on antibiotics and IV fluids.  The fever is down a bit, but Chris says it comes and goes.  She also had some stomach pain yesterday which she thought was from all the coughing, the Drs gave her morphine and she felt much better.  Chris hasn't had the chest tube drain in her side for quite a while now.  Because of that, they did have to tap her side and drained about a liter of fluid out of her chest cavity.  That made her feel instantly better.  Today however, her abdomen has been swollen and sore.  Per her last update, they (the all knowing "they") think it's a possible bowel obstruction.  She's been told to walk as much as she can at the hospital with the hope it will correct itself.

Because of this newest development, we really don't know when she will be released to go home.  She is in isolation at this time, and has to test clear of infection for 48 hrs before she gets to leave.  As of this time, the initial tests aren't even back yet that I know of.  

Please keep your prayers coming.  They are so appreciated and I know they are felt by her.  

I hope I've covered most of your questions and worries.  She loves reading your comments, so blow up her inbox here with them.  = )  I'll continue to keep her blog updated until she can take over again.

-Barbra

Special lia sophia fundraiser for Chris!

Hello everyone!  

In honor of my sister, I've set up a special lia sophia jewelry fundraiser for Chris.  I'm donating all of my profits from this sale to Chris for her medical and living expenses during this difficult time for her and her family.  

Chris used to sell lia sophia and got me involved in it.  It's beautiful jewelry with a lifetime guarantee. Just be sure to keep your receipt in a safe place.  There is a special this month, buy two regular price pieces, get two pieces at half price.  As always, you pay half price for your most expensive items!  

Log onto my website, click on "browse jewelry" and then enter either my name, or Christine Van Ry in the hostess info, and your order will be credited to her fundraiser.  This will only be running a few more days.  I've been advertising it on facebook, but got permission from Chris to put the info on her blog too.  

Everything will be shipped to me here in Tulsa, but I will ship the individual orders to you at no extra charge.  Thank you, and let's see what we can do to help such an amazing woman!

-Barbra 


www.liasophia.com/summerhill

All systems go for plan "G".

At least we think we're up to plan "G" by now.  My apologies for not updating sooner.  To me, all this talk of  different treatments, chemos, and clinical trials is beginning to get tedious.  Ken reminded me, though, that this blog is my only source of communication from me to many of you.  Gotta keep up the blog.  I promise I will do better.

So, last Tuesday we met with the clinical trial doctors and also with my oncologist, Dr. K.  The clinical trial people had another trial for me if I chose to go that route.  It was a Phase 1 trial, the very beginning of it.  It would be a low dose of a drug called CBLB502.  In the protocol it stated that those who received the lower dosage were less likely to see any response in their tumors.  Hmmmmm.  It took Ken and I approximately 3.4 seconds to decide against it.  We then went for our appointment with Dr. K.  I like Dr. K.  He is a good man.  We told him about the clinical study we had just learned about.  I gave him my copy of the written protocol so he could look through it.  We told him of our reservations regarding the low dosage. He understood.  We talked again about the Adriamycin with the heart protectant.  (Just to recap, this chemo was the very first chemo I was on a couple of years ago.  We got an excellent response with it.  I was only allowed 6 or 7 rounds of it because too much can damage the heart.  They give it to children and breast cancer patients with this heart protectant which seems to alleviate the risk of heart damage.)  He also mentioned the possibility of sarcoma-based clinical trials at other hospitals.  I told him we were becoming weary making all of these decisions.  I asked him what he would recommend at this point.  He said he felt that the Adriamycin was a very reasonable option.  He would have me do 2 rounds, then a CT scan, then another 2 rounds.  He said he would be comfortable doing 4 rounds, no more.  That sounded good to us.  I go for my first infusion on 2/28.  They'll give me the heart protectant first (Vinegard), then the good stuff.  It should only take about 45 minutes.  The side effects are nausea, flu-like symptoms and fatigue.  The nausea really is a non-issue with me.  They have so many wonderful anti-nausea drugs these days.  As I recall from the last time, my main issue was the fatigue, but it only lasted for a few days.  Once we're done with this, on to plan "H".  Such is my life.  Oh well.  I figure as long as there are letters left in the alphabet, I'm good.  Aside from a bit of a cough, I really can't complain.  Hard to believe it's been almost 3 years since I was diagnosed.  All in all, I feel quite blessed to feel as well as I do.

Until next time . . .

Good news, bad news . . .

The good news is the tumors in my lungs are stable for the most part.  Minimal growth for some, shrinkage for others.  If only that were the end of the story.  It seems that I have a new little growth in the pelvic lining on my right side.  It is very small, not even measurable really.  But, this new little growth is keeping me from continuing on the study.  I guess I've been lucky up to this point that things haven't spread.  On the bright side, the rest of my organs are clear.

So, what to do now?  I was handed the paperwork for a new study to read and consider before my appointment next Tuesday.  I also have an appointment with my oncologist next Tuesday to discuss the possibility of starting the Adrimicin.  We have some decisions to make.  Right now, I'm leaning towards the Adrimicin.  It's a known winner - at least in the past.  I imagine we would get some good results with it.  These studies are so unpredictable.  I don't feel like I have time for unpredictability.  That's just my opinion.  When it comes right down to it, we need to make this a matter of prayer.  We'll let the Lord guide the proceedings.  After all, He knows better than all of us.

Until next Tuesday . . .

Things were going just too smoothly . . .

Things were going relatively well after the last infusion.  Last Thursday the neuropathy started with a little more enthusiasm than last time.  Friday, the body aches set in.  I won't lie - I felt lousy.  On Saturday I noticed my breathing was a bit more shallow than usual. Ken felt my forehead and said I felt warm.  My temp was only 99.5, but I had taken Motrin about 45 minutes prior, so we knew it was probably a little higher than that. We called Roswell and spoke to one of the doctors on their service.  He said to come in - had a bed for me on 7 East.  Woohoo. Oh well.  At least it was a private room.  Ended up staying until Monday.  Turns out I had a touch of pneumonia and a staph infection.  They put me on IV antibiotics which kick-started the recovery process.  I'm feeling much better.  Still get a little winded if I forget and go up and down the stairs at my usual clip.  The nurse advised me to pace myself, so that's what I'm trying to do.

The good news is, this little turn of events didn't get me kicked off of the study.  Next Tuesday I go in for my usual follow-up and blood work.  Friday the 27th is the big CT scan which will show if we're making any progress.  It also happens to be mine and Ken's 34th anniversary. What a romantic way to spend the day!  Well, not really.  Ken will be teaching.  Too bad, though.  I would have been happy to share my berry- flavored barium with him!

Until next time, everyone stay warm.  It seems winter has finally arrived.

No news is definitely good news.

Thankfully, I have nothing exciting to report. Aside from a bit of a cough, I feel quite good. I go in for my next treatment this Tuesday.  Hopefully, this round will be much like the last. My next CT scan is scheduled for 1/27.  Keeping fingers and toes crossed for good results.  However, if the results aren't good, my doctors tell us we have 2 other treatment options we can choose from.  At this stage of the game, options are always a good thing.

My hair has started to fall out.  I had my daughter, Katie, buzz me yesterday.  I look like Sinead O'Connor.  Fortunately, I found a really cute wig at Roswell a couple of weeks ago.  I can get one free wig per year from Roswell, so it didn't cost me anything.  Their wigs are really good quality.  I was thinking of staying with a salt and pepper gray color similar to my own.  But, Ken saw a cute, dark blond wig he wanted me to try on.  I loved it.  I guess when it comes right down to it, I'm not really ready to go gray yet.  It sounds strange, but I was actually looking forward to my hair falling out so I could wear my wig!  I have no idea how my hair will come back in a third time.  The 2nd time, it was thin in spots and much straighter than normal.  I'm thinking it will only be worse the next time it comes in.  Who knows?  Maybe this wig will become a permanent fixture. That would be OK with me.

Time to get ready for church.  I love Sundays!

Until next time . . .

Day 9 . . .

Wow!  Who knew we'd make it this far??  All things considered, I'm doing well.  I was experiencing a little neuropathy (little shooting pains), but that seems to be gone for the moment.  It will probably kick up again after the next infusion.  Mostly, I'm just dealing with a bit of fatigue.  I think the fatigue is exacerbated by the Gabapentin I'm still taking for the Bell's Palsy.  Speaking of which, the Bell's Palsy is almost completely gone.  Woohoo! They'll probably take me off of the Gabapentin next Tuesday when I go in for another follow-up.  My next infusion is the Tuesday after that.

I hope everyone has recuperated from the hustle and bustle of the Holidays.  Our Christmas was one of the nicest ones we've ever had.  Our family felt such an outpouring of love this year.  Sometimes when the weight of this trial feels like it's just too much for our family, the Lord sends angels to bear us up.  Those angels came in the form of extended family members whose kindness and generosity touched our hearts, and friends and co-workers who truly exemplified the true spirit of Christmas.  Thank you.

Now, on to 2012!  Wishing you all a Happy and Healthy New Year full of love and promise.

Until next time . . .

Day 2 ....

I’m doing pretty well with this new treatment so far.  Of course, it’s only been one day.  However, I noticed a couple of days ago that the left side of my face was feeling a little funny.  My smile was a bit off and I wasn’t able to close my left eye tightly. I knew it was a very mild case of Bell’s Palsy now on the other side of my face.  I didn’t say anything yesterday when I went in for my first treatment.  It’s not very noticeable, so I just let it go.  I didn’t want to take any chances that they might not let me on the study.  So, I waited until today when I went in for a blood draw.  I told them it was my birthday, so they weren’t allowed to give me any bad news.  Fortunately, there is nothing in the wording of the study that would cause me to have to quit.  I’m so glad.  No more drama.  That’s my mantra.  NO MORE DRAMA!

Just taking it easy today.  I am a bit tired.  Don't know if it's the chemo or the gabapentin I'm taking for the Bell's Palsy that's making me tired.  Could be both I guess.  It's rainy and yucky outside, so it's a good day to stay in.

I hope you're all ready for Christmas.  I can't believe it's this weekend!  I'm looking forward to it.  Just wish we had a little snow.  

First treatment on new study.

I am so happy to report that all went well today. No headaches, no nausea, no surprises. Woohoo!  Here's hoping the side effects will continue to be minimal.  I go back in tomorrow and Thursday for blood draws, then next week Tuesday and the Tuesday after that for blood draws.  Then we start another round.

Many, many thanks again to all of you for your prayers and well-wishes.

Heartfelt thanks go to our "Christmas angels".  You know who you are.  We have been richly blessed this Christmas season.

I will keep you posted on how things are going.

Love to you all.

CT results a mixed bag.

My CT scan results showed some growth for most of the tumors except for a couple.  The one in my left lung that was causing pain on my left side got smaller as well as one in my right lung.  Strange.  But, that's what makes cancer so hard to predict.  Because of the growth, I won't be going back on the study I was on.  We were given a couple of options.  We could sign the consent for the vaccine and wait 2 weeks while they test my tumor for the antigen, or we could get started on another study next week with a sister drug to a chemo that I've already had.  We opted for this study.  The good news is I showed some response to the chemo, so we're hoping we'll get a good response with this drug.  The not-so-good news is I will lose my hair AGAIN. Other possible side effects include fatigue, flu-like symptoms and neuropathy. Ugh. I'm kind of looking at it as a stop-gap measure - something to get me by until something better comes along.

That's the scoop for now.  Everyone have a great weekend!

For those of you keeping score at home . . .

Ken and I went to Roswell yesterday to sign consent forms for the clinical trial vaccine.  When we got there, Dr. Dy said she had just finished a teleconference with the pharmaceutical company that made the medicine from the last trial.  She told us that they are willing to let me get back on the study if my Bell's Palsy is significantly better within the next two weeks.  I would be getting a lower dosage.  After my headache adventure, another participant experienced the same nasty headache.  Because of this, they have determined that the dosage was too high.  Interestingly enough, the reason for this trial was to determine the correct dosage of this particular drug.  Glad I could be of assistance!  So, before I go back on the study, Dr. Dy would like me to have another CT scan next week.  If there is any progression of disease, they won't put me back on the study because it obviously isn't working.  We would look for another trial, probably the vaccine to start with. But, if there is no progression, or if there is some regression, we'll get back on the study again probably starting on 12/13.

In the meantime, I'm waking up each morning hoping the right side of my face has decided to start working again.  So far, not much luck.  Everyone tells me it's looking better, but I don't really see it.  I just want my face back!  On top of that, I've discovered that this condition is a bit painful.  All of the muscles and nerves on the right side of my face hurt.  No fun.  I've gone out of the house a couple of times.  If I don't smile or try to talk, I almost look like I could pass for normal - unless they focus on my right eye which is perpetually wide open with a look of surprise.  I was wearing a patch on that eye at first because it was drying out so bad.  But, my eye has adjusted and is making enough tears so that I can leave it uncovered.  That's a good thing.  I didn't like the patch.  Ayyye, matie!

I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving.  We did.  Now, on to Christmas.  I look forward to that.  Hopefully, I'll be back on the study and it will be going well.  But, if not, that's OK too.  We'll find something else.  It's all in the Lord's hands.  It's very comforting knowing that He is in charge.

This post is entitled, "Another Study Bites the Dust," or "Hell's Bell's Palsy""

So, last Saturday was to be a big day.  Our daughter, Katie, is moving back home and that was the day of the move.  Well, Ken woke up Saturday morning feeling queasy and dizzy.  We had to find someone to take his place for Katie's move.  As we were discussing possible options, I realized that my right eye was not blinking along with my left eye.  I got up to look at myself in the bathroom mirror and, sure enough, my right eye looked like a one-eyed deer in the headlights.  It would not close.  It was then I noticed that the right side of my mouth was drooping just a bit.  Of course, all kinds of things went through my mind.  Was I having a stroke?  Had the cancer gone to my brain, and the CT scan didn't catch it?  Then, I remembered.  The paperwork we received when we first started this study mentioned the possibility of Bell's Palsy when the drug was administered along with chemo.  When the drug is administered by itself, as it was in my case, there had been no cases of Bell's Palsy - until now.  Anyway, I called Roswell and spoke to the doctor on call.  He said to come in, so we did.  He did a few little tests just to make sure it wasn't a stroke.  Once he ruled that out, I couldn't help but notice his amusement at my predicament.  When he asked me to smile big, raise my eye brows, fill my cheeks up with air, it was all quite comical.  Thank goodness it's temporary!  One to two weeks with treatment of steroids and an antiviral med and I should be as good as new.

As for today, I went down for my third treatment feeling good and ready to go only to find out that because I'm taking steroids, they're going to have to take me off of the study.  Apparently, the steroids would water down the effect of the drug, so there would be no point in continuing.  Dr. Dy said there was a small chance we could begin again after I'm done with the steroids, but they would have to get special permission from the pharmaceutical company and that isn't likely.  So, on to plan B.  They are currently offering a clinical trial that is a vaccine.  If my tumor has a particular antigen, I would qualify for this study.  There is a 15% chance that the antigen may be present.  So, they are going to take a sample of the original tumor and test it.  We should find out in the next week or two.  If that doesn't pan out, Dr. Dy said there are more studies on the horizon.  So, it's back to the waiting game.  The good news is:  the MRI they did of my brain yesterday came back negative.  So, that along with the CT scan makes it official - no cancer up there. Secondly, they took the catheter out today.  My left lung is pretty much back to normal, so no need to have it in anymore.  It's so much more comfortable not having a tube protruding from my side!  Thirdly, I've lost 10 pounds!!  Lastly, aside from looking like Phantom of the Opera sans the mask, I feel great. I'm looking forward to cooking with my girls for Thanksgiving and having a great holiday.

May you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Feeling a little better . . .

First, thanks to my sister for her sweet comments.  I am sooo blessed to have the family I have.  I just haven't felt well enough to post anything until today.  Barb, I appreciate your seeing a need and just taking care of it.  Love you bunches!

Unfortunately, the side effects for this treatment were not as advertised.  I have struggled mainly with severe headaches, nausea and vomiting during and after each of the last two treatments.  The headache was so bad during the last treatment, they sent me to have a CT scan of my head to make sure the cancer hadn't spread to my brain.  Everything checked out OK, but they have me scheduled for an MRI this Monday just to be sure.  In the meantime, my main goal is to manage the pain and nausea.  The discomfort lessens as the days go on.  Today, I'm just dealing with the remnants of the headache which is managed pretty well with just Tylenol. Ken and I actually went out and took a walk even though it was a bit brisk.  It was so nice to be out in the sunshine and fresh air.

I will say without any semblance of pride or embarrassment, I am not looking forward to next Tuesday.  My hope and prayer is that I will feel decent enough to enjoy Thanksgiving with my family.  On the positive side, there is no treatment the next Tuesday.  Yay!

There is one other possible positive to all of this.  For several months now, I've been dealing with light to moderate back pain on my left side.  None of the doctors seemed to be too concerned about it, and ibuprofen usually took care of the pain. During the first treatment, the pain in my back became unbearable.  They had to use some pretty heavy duty pain killers to alleviate it. My thoracic doctor happened to stop by as we had an appointment with him that afternoon to remove the catheter.  Unfortunately, I was feeling way too yucky to have him do that.  But he did take a quick look at my last CT scan while he was there. He concluded that the reason I was having the back pain, is because one of the larger masses in my lung was pressing up against my diaphragm.  The best counsel he had for me at that point was pain management.  The good news?  That pain is practically gone now.  I'm hoping against hope that the reason it has dissipated is because the chemo is shrinking the tumors.  Keeping a positive thought.

Many, many thanks for your prayers, calls, cards, and meals.  Please forgive me for not returning calls right away.  I will call soon.  Please know your love and friendship mean more than I can say.

My faith in my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ remains constant - my joy on my good days, and my strength and comfort on my bad days.

Proverbs 3:5-6   Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Sisterly love, hopefully this Sister won't be in trouble for posting this....

Hello All,

I know it's been a little while since Chris has been able to post to her blog.  I guess I'm taking advantage of being the blog administrator by doing this, but I feel it's important.  I will give the short hand version with a few of my thoughts added.

I can speak with absolute confidence that all of us adore Chris and have been amazed at her strength, endurance, and positive attitude.  Right now though she's having a pretty rough go of things.  She's wanted to update her blog but honestly has not felt up to doing it.  Leave it to me right Seester?  = )  Here goes....

She had her second round of the new treatment this past Tuesday.  Chris really doesn't feel well, bad headaches, yukky stomach, and overall just exhausted.  She's discouraged.  I know I have a hard time hearing her talk that way because she is always so strong and optimistic, but I've tried to talk to her about this, letting her know it's ok to let us know she's struggling.  Does that make sense?  I'll be honest, I have a really hard time knowing it's getting to her, 'cause gosh, if it's actually getting to her, it must be terrible.  Wrongo.  It's just that my amazing, wonderful, gorgeous, inspiring Sister is human and it's ok for her to be discouraged and have moments, hours, days, weeks, however long, where this really sucks.  Sometimes I think Chris thinks she needs to be strong for all of us, but that's just not her job.  So, let's be strong for her and give her a soft place to fall.  She loves reading your comments and is really touched by the countless people who love and support her.  The number really is countless.  I have never, ever heard of a person who didn't love Chris from the moment they met her.  So.  We're here for you Chris.  Let us be strong for you!  Take a break, rest, keep your feet up, pet Tucker, cry a little, scream a little, laugh at your crazy family, wish your Sister didn't have the password to your blog, whatever helps ok?  It's not team Jacob or Edward this year, it's Team Chris.  T-shirt info to come shortly.  Who wants one?

I better wrap this up.  I'm getting a little too emotional right now to continue and then I'll really get in big trouble for saying too much.  Thanks everyone for putting up with this intrusion, and thanks for loving my best friend so much, my Seester.   

-Barbra