A couple of things . . .

My husband and I had our first "drain date" last Thursday.  We set up his laptop on the dining room table so we could go step by step along with the instructional DVD.  We laid out all of the paraphernalia on the blue sterile field.  (That's the official medical term.  It's a large blue paper towel, but that doesn't sound as important.)  We turned on the DVD and began the process.  Ken got me all hooked up to the special vacuum sealed bottle, broke the seal, and waited for the floodgates to open.  We got a drip . . . then another drip . . . then two drips.  Very underwhelming.  We thought that maybe we did something wrong, so we went over everything again.  Still, nothing but drips.  We got maybe 20 cc's of fluid.  Quite a difference from the 800 cc's we got with the first drain at Roswell last week.  I was sure there was more fluid in there and thought there must be an obstruction of some kind.   I was particularly concerned because I had plans to go to a fun women's conference in Rochester Friday and Saturday, and I didn't want anything to get in the way of that.

The next day, I called Roswell and told them what happened.  They told me to come in, go to x-ray first, and then go to the thoracic clinic.  I thought for sure they were going to have to flush the catheter somehow, which sounded very uncomfortable to me.  By the time I got to the clinic, they had already seen the x-ray.  I was told it looked great.  My lung is almost back to normal and there is very little fluid left in the cavity!  I was really surprised.  I thought it would take a lot longer for the fluid to dissipate.  That's why I was sure there was something wrong with the catheter.  They did a drain there just to put my mind at ease, and again only got about 20 cc's.  They want me to keep the catheter for a while longer just to be on the safe side which is fine with me.  It should be coming out sooner than later, though, which is awesome!

I left Roswell feeling great and looking forward to "Time Out for Women" in Rochester.  It was held at the convention center there with incredible speakers and musicians.  It's sponsored by our church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormon), but there were hundreds of women there, many of different faiths.  I was so looking forward to the uplifting and inspirational messages and music.  Most of all, I was looking forward to a brief but much needed escape from all things CANCER!  Surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly), I found this was not to be.  I discovered that too many people have been touched by cancer in some way for it not to come up.  Dallyn Vail Bayles was a singer there at the conference - a very incredible singer, by the way.  He introduced one of his songs by telling us that he had recently lost two family members to cancer.  One of them was a young mother of two.  Before she passed, she requested that Dallyn sing her favorite song at her funeral called "Better Than I".  Some of the lyrics:

If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing I don't know
Is part of getting through
I try to do what's best
And faith has made it easy
To see the best thing I can do
Is put my trust in You
For . . .



You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For You know better than I

Needless to say, I dissolved in a puddle of tears as he sang that song.  Not sad tears, but incredibly grateful tears.  He was singing exactly what has been in my heart.  The combination of being in a room filled with faith-filled women and listening to music that spoke to my heart was overwhelming.  The Spirit was so strong.

Later in the program, we had the privilege of hearing from an incredible woman who had had 5 major operations in her life due to cancer.  The last one left her completely blind.  She was amazing!  She admitted that after that last surgery, she really didn't feel like she wanted to continue in this life.  But, in time, she found her smile again and was able turn things around.  Some of the stories she told were hysterical.  She was not only a wonderful example of faith and strength, she exuded a love of life and the ability to be truly happy in spite of trials.

No escape from cancer for me.  That's OK.  It is what it is.  I am blessed to be touched by those who have been inspired or strengthened in some way in connection with this crazy disease.

The peace and gratitude I feel is due to the love of God, the Father and His son, Jesus Christ.  That love not only lightens my burden and makes it easier to bear, it causes me to feel true joy in spite of it all. My heartfelt desire is to pay that blessing forward to those who are struggling to understand why these things happen sometimes.