Still hanging in there . . .

Had my appointment with Dr. K yesterday.  There is a drug, new for sarcoma, that has been used in treating late-stage kidney cancer.  He suggested I give it a try.  It hasn’t been approved by the FDA for sarcoma yet, but if my insurance company approves it anyway, I can start in the next couple of days.  It’s called Pazopanib, brand name – Votrient.  (I’d love to know who comes up with these names!)  Anyway, it’s supposed to cut off the blood supply to the tumors.  Dr. K is also looking into clinical trials at Sloan Kettering in NYC and MD Anderson in Houston for me.  He’ll have that information by the end of the week. 

I’m not going to lie – I got the distinct impression that Dr. K doesn’t hold out much hope that anything is going to work due to the progression of the cancer.  He may be right, but I’m not ready to give up the fight just yet.  I appreciate his willingness to be supportive of my desire to keep fighting.  He could easily wash his hands of me. 

My hope is that we’ll at least find something that buys me a little more time.  I still have things I need to do! 

A friend from work shared this poem with me.  I loved it.  Thanks, Debbie!

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out,
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Until next time . . .

Thanks for your prayers.

Thank you for your posts.  And many thanks to Barb for keeping you all updated.

I am home.  I'm sorry for not updating sooner.  I must admit, I've been enjoying resting, relaxing, and soaking in our beautiful weather.  I promised myself (and my husband) that when I got out of the hospital I would just take it easy and give my body a chance to get strong and heal. No housework, no trips to the store.  It hasn't been all that difficult. I think I'm a bit worn out.

It's been a rough few weeks culminating in my week-long stay at the hospital.  That is with one shining exception.  The Benefit given for our family was absolutely incredible.  The love and support we felt that night was completely overwhelming.  Heartfelt thanks to all who were involved in bringing it together, and to those who graciously donated baskets and services.  The money that was raised will help to lift the financial burden that cancer inevitably brings.  One less thing to worry about.  Thank you so much.

So, they determined that I had a virus which resulted in fever, chills and major fatigue with a side of shortness of breath.. I'm sure the fatigue was exacerbated by the chemo as well.  As Barb said, while I was there, I developed some intestinal issues.  They did an xray and a CT scan and determined that I didn't have a bowel obstruction, but instead something called an illius.  An illius is a small section of bowel that decides to take a break and stop working essentially slowing everything down.  Of course, when I heard they were doing a CT scan, I knew they'd be looking at other things as well.  Sure enough, Dr. K. came into my room after looking at the scan and said things were a bit worse.  The tumor in my pelvic lining had gotten bigger and was actually butting up against my bowel probably causing the illius.  He said the tumors in my lungs hadn't changed too much.  Guess that's good.  Always have to find something positive in these reports, but it's getting harder and harder as time goes on.  He said we'd have stop the Adriamycin.  He didn't have much more to offer at that point.  The next day, he came in and said he wanted to set up an appointment to discuss our next step, most likely a clinical trial at another hospital.  I was told that because I bounced back so well from the virus and was still relatively strong, they're not ready to give up on me yet. We'll meet with him this coming Tuesday.  My options are running low.  Plan "Z" seems to be coming up a bit more quickly than I thought it would. I know that I have more that I'm meant to accomplish before leaving this world. Pray that we'll be led to an effective treatment very soon.

I was sent home with oxygen as my levels were borderline low in the hospital.  I wear it most of the day and at night.  Even with it off, the only time I tend to get short of breath is when I go up the stairs.  So, I'm finding that it's no big deal if I don't wear it all of the time.  Of course, it's just one more thing that makes me feel like I'm one step closer to my grave.  However, the respiratory therapist assures me that many times it's just temporary until they find the right treatment.  There's that darn hope again!  Guess I'd better hold on to it.  After all, it's better than the alternative.  Feeling hopeless isn't in my nature, thank goodness.  Actually, I have the Lord to thank for that.  I know that He has been with me and will continue to be with me every step of the way regardless of the outcome.  It's because of Him my hope shines bright.

Until next time . . .

She's home and doing much better

Chris will post soon. She feels good.  She came home on Saturday. 

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!
~Dr. Seuss

She's not feeling so great.....

Hello Friends and Family,

Some family out West emailed me today asking for me to put an update on Chris' blog since they've heard she's in the hospital right now.  I checked with Chris, and she has asked me to go ahead and do so.  

First, I have been asked to pass along how grateful both Chris and Ken are for the overwhelming support, hard work, and generosity regarding the special benefit in her honor last week. I know I can't express how grateful I am personally for the outpouring of love and kindness shown to my Sister and her family.  I'm rather speechless about it, but I'm not surprised just how many people love the Van Ry family and would do this to help them.  Thank you from myself, who couldn't be there.  Thank you from the Van Ry kids, thank you from my Mom, Maurine, and thank you from Chris and Ken.  I'm sure when Chris feels better, she will add her thoughts.  

It's been a hard several weeks for our entire family.  Bill Shomers, who somehow became part of our family 24 years ago, passed away last week.  In fact, he passed away just days before the benefit on Wed. Those of us who were able to, scrambled to get to NY to be there for the funeral which was just this past Sat.  I was lucky enough to be able to be there for a few quick days.  This was all just too much for Chris.  While I was there, I was incredibly worried about her.  She was exhausted, almost always down on the couch, she's had a cough that's really been winding her, and she was frustrated that she couldn't keep up with everything.  This past Sunday, just hours after I left to return home, she ended up in the ER at Millard Fillmore Suburban with a 103 fever.  She was there for hours.  Her Dr at Roswell, Dr K, told her to go there.  Something about Roswell didn't have room at the moment for her.  At Suburban, she had chest x-rays and another CT scan.  The results showed fluid in her chest cavity and possibly her left lung.  (Hopefully I got that right.) She was transferred via ambulance to Roswell around Midnight.  They are testing for Pneumonia, Flu, and other infections.  She is on antibiotics and IV fluids.  The fever is down a bit, but Chris says it comes and goes.  She also had some stomach pain yesterday which she thought was from all the coughing, the Drs gave her morphine and she felt much better.  Chris hasn't had the chest tube drain in her side for quite a while now.  Because of that, they did have to tap her side and drained about a liter of fluid out of her chest cavity.  That made her feel instantly better.  Today however, her abdomen has been swollen and sore.  Per her last update, they (the all knowing "they") think it's a possible bowel obstruction.  She's been told to walk as much as she can at the hospital with the hope it will correct itself.

Because of this newest development, we really don't know when she will be released to go home.  She is in isolation at this time, and has to test clear of infection for 48 hrs before she gets to leave.  As of this time, the initial tests aren't even back yet that I know of.  

Please keep your prayers coming.  They are so appreciated and I know they are felt by her.  

I hope I've covered most of your questions and worries.  She loves reading your comments, so blow up her inbox here with them.  = )  I'll continue to keep her blog updated until she can take over again.

-Barbra